


Needle in the Hay

by SirAttlich



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Gen, Movie Reference, One Shot, Regret, Suicide Attempt, Uncle-Niece Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirAttlich/pseuds/SirAttlich
Summary: Everybody has a breaking point. For Qrow, a certain revelation proved to be this. Inspired by the Royal Tenenbaums.
Kudos: 5





	Needle in the Hay

_Ageless._

_Immortal._

_**Unkillable.** _

Those were the three words that ran through Qrow's mind as he was looking at himself on the bathroom mirror.

He shouldn't have punched Oscar. The kid was a victim of circumstances, just like him, but the worst part is that he didn't have a say or a choice. The huntsman felt guilty about venting his rage of a man he trusted a long time on an innocent kid that shouldn't have been with him in the first place.

Unlike Oscar, Qrow chose this. He made a conscious decision and chose to help him, just like the kids, like his team…

' _Like Summer...'_ he thought.

All of them, played like a damn fiddle by a man who didn't have a plan to begin with.

He believed that he was helping in saving the world and its people, that he was doing actual good, that…

That he made a _difference_.

Maybe Raven was right. Maybe she had the right idea about it after all. Maybe, in retrospect, maybe he should've taken Tai and his nieces back to the camp, so at least they were all together and far away from whatever scheming Ozpin was planning behind everyone's back.

Maybe that wouldn't have changed a thing. Maybe that would've made everything even worse.

So many maybes. And all of it over a lover's squabble, over that bitch's Salem's ideas of godhood and the bastard's inability to talk her out of it.

He took a pair of scissors next to the sink and went on to work.

It was midnight at the Brunswick ranch, but the snow and the cold were so thick in the air that they didn't let the moon out, so everything around him was contrasted in different shades of blue & dark blue.

And it was quiet. Utter dead silence. The kids already went to sleep – which was good.

It was perfect; the only thing Qrow could hear now was the snapping of the scissors as he cut his hair bit by bit. He didn't mind the dark, it wasn't a hindrance for him – one could say that throughout the years, he got used to being in it.

After a couple of minutes of scissor snapping and hair going everywhere around, in and out of the sink, he put the scissors away.

He turned the light on and what he saw in the mirror…

' _Pathetic. Sad. And utterly broken…It's me alright.'_

He thought that he was someone with experience, someone who can teach the kids a thing or two, someone who knew the bigger picture, but now…

Now he feels like a dumb, idiot kid who just discovered that the tooth fairy isn't real and that he wasn't as smart as he thought he was.

The hairstyle his nieces always praised and would always have said that it looked cool was gone, now replaced with a buzzcut that, if he was being honest, left him feeling a bit cold.

Cold, but…liberating, in a way.

He took some of the shaving cream & the razor from the drawers below the sink. It was half-full, the last time being used was probably just before the whole family mysteriously died, or so Qrow thought.

When the cream was evenly spread across his cheeks, Qrow picked up a razor that looked clean enough and, slowly and steadily, removed a part of it, turning that part of his rough beard into smooth skin. Good enough, he supposed.

He starred at himself and looked into his own eyes - the eyes of a fool who wasn't strong enough to bring his sister back, who wasn't fast enough to save a girl from being mutilated by a bunch of psychopaths…

The eyes of a man who wasn't brave enough to utter the one sentence to the person he loved the most.

"I'll see you soon, then."

The blades of the razor were removed easily enough, while Qrow suppressed his Aura to do what was necessary. He checked before he entered the bathroom and knew that his little note will be found easily in his left pocket. Just three words, the last one being his name – nothing too fancy or complex. He thought himself to be a simple man - he liked it simple.

The blade in his hands executed short but imprecise movements – if someone had asked him about it, he'd say that he couldn't care less about accuracy as long as it got the job done.

His body was giving up from the bleeding injuries and was going down on the floor, with pool of blood forming from two sources – the weak one which were small droplets from the sink, and the main one which were both of his mauled arms.

But his mind…was a whole another thing.

There were two images within his mind constantly flashing back and forth every half a second – the first one was the very first experience of flying in his transformed form, just a few moments after the bastard gave him the power. The freedom he felt as the wind grazed through his wings, soaring the sky, nothing holding him back. That feeling never died down through the years – he simply loved to fly too much.

The second was…it was Summer looking at him. Smiling at him. He remembers – this was the first time he met her. First time, and she already showed more kindness in that one look than any degenerate in the tribe. She was a beacon of light, and the one who convinced him to fight to protect others. She gave him a reason to fight, and it was enough to ditch the whole original plan of becoming a Huntsman to kill Huntsmen.

She was like a needle to him – someone who used their ability to stitch all of his loose parts and make him into something. Make him into a proper Huntsman, a good team member of STRQ.

And then she disappeared – like a needle in the hay. He spent 5 straight months tirelessly searching for her, for any clue to her whereabouts, if she was alive or not. Anything that would ease his mind, to

He spent 5 months in denial, and then spent the next 15 years drowning that denial, be it in missions, women or his good old friend – the bottle.

Now, Qrow thought, he'll spend these last few minutes preparing for that last step.

'I'm coming, Sum…'

But, since Qrow abandoned faith, his Semblance would have it differently, as while he couldn't have register anything around him, Oscar's scream ended up waking those that needed him the most.

* * *

"So, you're gonna tell us why you tried to kill yourself?"

"Yang!"

A couple of minutes passed after he woke up. He was in a hospital somewhere in Argus, with all the kids and Maria surrounding him. The doctor already left and said that he's going to need at least half an hour of rest before he can leave – courtesy of his Aura being actively working on healing his body.

Now he was witnessing a very upset Ruby glaring at Yang, probably thinking that her sister was being somewhat insensitive and inappropriate.

Adorable.

"Nope." Qrow responded, almost in a sort of a playful way.

"Though I did write a suicide note." He added. He noticed their faces portrayed either of shock, worry or a slight hint of anger.

Except Maria. She looked mildly annoyed.

One more reason to adore her.

"Can, uh, can we see it?" Jaune sheepishly asked. Even after everything that happened before, the kid still needs to grow some balls.

"Nope." He responded in the same way.

"Is it dark?" Blake asked. Qrow should've known that princesses were supposed to be the ones to ask obvious questions.

"Of course it's dark, it's a suicide note."

"Are you going to be a liability to us?" Weiss asked.

"Weiss!" Ruby protested.

"I'm sorry Ruby, but we need to know." The Schnee retorted.

Qrow chuckled. He was glad that someone decided to ask the right questions now.

"Ask me again in half an hour." He responded, and silence came to the room for the whole minute. They starred at back at each other and Qrow, who was plainly looking at the door of the room.

The Huntsman noticed that Oscar was looking down at the floor – poor kid probably thought that it was his fault he tried to commit suicide

"So, uh, we're…we're gonna go to my sister's place now. We won't be making any decisions without you, so…yeah."

"No problem, go – you", Qrow pointed at his nieces and their teammates," probably didn't get any rest at all."

"Gee, I wonder whose fault is that?"

"Yang, that's enough!" Ruby stared at her sister. Yang understood that whatever she would say about their uncle (and she had a LOT to say, considering the kind of thing he tried to do) would upset her sister even more and nothing good would come out of it.

All of them started leaving one by one, with the last two being Weiss and Ruby, the latter still sitting beside her uncle & not moving an inch.

"I'll be with you soon, okay?"

Weiss sighed and quietly nodded in agreement and closed the door behind her.

The next couple of seconds were spent in silence as Qrow now starred at the ceiling and Ruby looking at her uncle's bandaged arms. She decided she would be the one to break the stiffness and simply said:

"Hey."

Qrow turned to her and slightly smiled.

"Hey." He responded.

Gods, seeing her uncle with his new buzzcut hair and shaved face…

Even though she knew that he was still her favorite uncle Qrow, she couldn't help but feel that she was looking at a stranger.

Ruby knew that she had to quickly find some topic to converse, lest her uncle goes back to blankly starring at empty spaces, so she decides to address the latest thing on her mind.

"You, uh, you could pass as one of General Ironwood's soldiers with that hair."

To her relief, her uncle's reaction was a genuine light laugh. She wasn't sure if she would ask him why he cut his hair like that – those were territories that she was too insecure to go to, simply out of fear that he would close himself on her.

"Never really thought of that – guess would be quite a shocker for Jimmy when I show up like this."

Her response was a gentle smile. At least now she knows he plans on staying around.

Qrow's smile transitioned into a tired sigh, which then formed into this sentence:

"Does the blondie know?"

The sudden shift to insecurely looking sideways and lightly biting her lip was all Qrow needed to know the answer.

"The kid will lash out at Oscar, no doubt. People will do that when they find out their teammate gave their life for nothing…"

Ruby looked up to see her uncle looking at his right palm. She could see that he was sad and somewhat regretful.

"But Oscar doesn't deserve it; all things considered, he's got it way worse than all of us…but I still punched him for something he didn't do."

And then something clicked in her.

"Did you try to kill yourself because…because you believe Mom died for nothing?"

Qrow turned to face his niece again. He gotta give credit to her, she has guts to ask him something like that. It was good – leaders needed to be assertive to find the solution to a problem.

"Yeah."

And she could've stopped with a simple 'oh' and finish with a 'get well soon'. But Ruby was determined to help her uncle, in any way possible.

"I…don't remember much about Mom, nor do I know anything else apart from what you, Dad & Yang told me about her…but I just know she wouldn't want this from you."

"Ruby…" Qrow whispered but then decided not to interrupt his niece.

"And I know that now everything might seem to be pointless, but I just…now that I know, I just can't walk away and live with myself. I know about it and I have to- MUST do something, ANYTHING to help, even if it's just a little. And besides, if we aren't gonna do it…

Ruby breathed in. And breathed out. And said:

"Who will?"

He was at loss for words – even though everything is against them, his niece still finds the spark that keeps her going. He can see the resemblance in her eyes – not just the color, but the same fire and determination inside of them.

"You know – you're more like your mother than you think."

Qrow sighed, looking fairly insecure about what he'll say next. But he guessed that it needed to be brought to light, to give his niece a bit more perspective:

"Ruby, I…I loved your mother."

Ruby jolted in slight surprise, but still looked like someone told her a simple fact:

"I mean, of course you loved Mom, uncle Qrow – we all did!"

"No, Ruby. I mean – I _loved_ your mom."

He noticed that it finally clicked to Ruby, his niece now looking a bit…

Well, confused would be the most appropriate word he would use now.

"Oh." Ruby uttered.

The awkward pause that Qrow would expect after that…never really came, as Ruby's response was:

"I guess…I guess I don't really mind the idea. I mean, you, being my dad, hyperbolically."

To be fair, Qrow…really wasn't surprised by Ruby's answer – he knew she loved him just as much as Tai and her sister. But to hear those words coming from her…it was a relief that eased his heart.

He chuckled a bit – Ruby's reaction and answer simply reinforced his previous statement.

"Heh…and it's hypothetically."

"Eh, whatever."

They both laughed with each other for a good few seconds. When they stopped at the same time, Ruby looked at her uncle and said:

"This doesn't change a thing, uncle Qrow – I'll still love you the same way as before."

She hugged her uncle gently, and he hugged her back.

"You were always with us uncle Qrow. When we needed help the most, you were there to jump in and save us…save me, just as you did before back at Beacon, back with-with Yang…And I want you to know that, no matter what anyone says, we are here for you just as you were here for us. So please, uncle Qrow, let us – let me help you."

She slowly backed away a bit, but didn't break eye contact as she added:

"And don't you forget that, okay?"

Qrow thought that Ruby looked adorable with her faux pouting she was doing when she said that.

"Don't worry kiddo – I'll remember. Now…"

Qrow pushed her away a little to re-adjust himself on the bed.

"I can see you're tired – go and get some rest. I'll be with you soon enough."

"But uncle Qrow, I can wait for at least half an…"

"It's okay – besides, you look like you're gonna fall asleep anytime soon. You don't have to worry about me, I'll be fine."

Seeing that she won't be able to convince her uncle otherwise, Ruby got up from the chair and slowly walked towards the door.

"Oh, and Ruby…"

She turned to see her uncle smiling at her as he added:

"I guess I needed that. Thanks."

Ruby smiled back and responded with:

"It's the least I can do. See you soon, uncle Qrow."

Qrow took a deep breath after Ruby closed the door. Before, he'd decide to simply stay in the background while the kids either give up on the whole thing or haphazardly try to plan whatever they thought was gonna work.

But now…thanks to Ruby, now he found the determination to keep on going, whatever the odds are. He'll be there to protect them, to guide them and to support them – just as they are there do to the same for him.

Qrow realized a simple fact – it's that they need him just as much as he needs them. He guessed that it was Ruby who needed to show him that.

Summer was gone, and there isn't a single thing he can do now to bring her back, to find that needle in the sea of haystacks. But what he can do is be with Ruby and help her when she falls, just as she helped him now.

For the second time in his life, he found a person he's willing to go to the end of the world without any regrets. He may not trust Ozpin anymore – that bridge is burned with the awakening of the Relic of Knowledge, but he trusts Ruby.

And he'll be there for her. Just as she'll be there for him.

* * *

**Never really liked how the writers made Ruby from a happy generic blank slate to a disrespectful lying brat. Remember the scene where she was disrespectful to her depressed uncle and instead of being kind and empathetic towards him, she was showing him some faux tough love and telling him bullshit like "she and her teammates were in hard situation that they wen't through even without the help of adults".**

**Really?**

**Ah, forget it - go and read Coeur or some other well known writers or stories. They sure as hell know what they're doing.**


End file.
